Oceans Of Fun Kansas City

Ask Francine - We Plan to Arouse Proof of Preachers' Preferences

Gays infiltrated the New York statehouse to win the “special right” of same-sex marriage. You sodomites think you’ve pulled off a great stunt, but my BFF, Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback, and I have a little surprise for you all.

One thing I love about Gov. Brownback — he gets things done. He’s already shut down one abortion clinic in Kansas City, Kan., and he intends to shut down the remaining two in Overland Park. Today, I asked him, “Sammy, Sammy, what about the queers?”

He described to me a glorious Kansas without baby-killers and non-reproducing same-sex citizens — a plentiful harvest of golden-haired babies gathered around every farm table!

Sam’s dream of ridding the state of nasty liberals, queers and other folk who don’t live by his Christian values is actually happening — he wants to put Christ back into politics.

“Why they ever took His name out of the Kansas Constitution is a mystery to me,” Sam sobbed.

Since Sam converted from Methodism to Catholicism in 2002, he’s been a thorn in my side, for he keeps trying to convince me that it’s OK for men to wear dresses … in church, of course.

Like Sam, some of my best friends are Catholics, like Bishop Robert Finn. We’ve vacationed together and picketed gay funerals with the Rev. Fred Phelps, and I even was allowed to shave his Holiness’ back last summer before he enjoyed my swimming pool here in Loch Lloyd. I do not allow hairy people in my pool -- it wreaks havoc on the filter.

Even the Asian woman who puts on my acrylic nails is Catholic. She has a Buddha statue. I’ve never figured that woman out.

And the local Catholics are in a tizzy. Gov. Sam isn’t talking to Bishop Bob because a Kansas City priest got caught with child porn on his laptop. Sam’s not upset about the porn or that Bishop Bob didn’t go straight to the police when he found out (he kept it secret for several months). He’s upset because Shawn Francis Ratigan, the priest using the laptop on which the images were found, is straight.

Sam’s in the same dilemma as I am. Isn’t it common knowledge that all priests are gay?

I got to thinking ... it’s more than the Catholics. There’s George Rekers, the Baptist who could “cure” gays and was caught at an airport with a gay prostitute returning from vacation; Ted Haggard, the evangelical who helped advise George W.

Blogging to Keep From Eating

Both of my kids are off leading exciting lives...James at Worlds of Fun and Oceans of Fun (amusement park and water park) in Kansas City for the day with his girlfriend and another couple. Juliana at the lake with friends for a few days. Me, here at home, wanting to EAT!!!

I'm actually waiting for Rick to get home and shower so we can go out for Mexican at our favorite little place. Woo-hoo! I've precisely calcuated my calories for the day and I know what I'm going to have tonight and I CAN'T eat anything else until then or I'll blow my week of eating in range.

I've tried munching on baby carrots, playing Pac-Man (childish, I know, but it keeps my hands busy!), calling my dad (he wasn't home), cleaning the house, and drinking enough water to float a boat. I still want to eat! Normally I would go for a walk or work in the garden but it's about 100% humidity and 100 degrees out there right now.

So here I am, writing a blog about random nothing, really. I'm hoping that blogging will keep me from eating, both 'cause my hands are busy and 'cause once I've put this out there for all of you to read, I don't want to come back and say I caved to the granola bars or ice cream sandwiches or pita chips that are calling my name.

I had a really good six mile run this morning. I woke up at 4:00 and could not go back to sleep, so finally at 5:30 I got up and dressed and was out as soon as there was enough light to see the road. It was sort of "cool" that early, or at least what passes for cool right now, probably 80 degrees. So I enjoyed the run a lot!

DH still not home. I think I'm going to go do some boring paperwork while waiting for him. And I'll chew gum. NO EATING...I want to enjoy my night out with a clear conscience!

Sparks, everyone!

Kansas city is awesome(= oceans of fun with tomorrow!(=

lol no just Kansas City my sister lives here. We went to Oceans of Fun yesterday, outlet mall shopping and a KC Royals game today

Oceans of Fun yesterday, Kansas City Zoo today, Gardner Pool tomorrow...all this activity is gonna kill me, I swear.

I'm at Oceans of Fun (Oceans of Fun Dr, Kansas City)

I'm at Oceans of Fun (Oceans of Fun Dr, Kansas City)

Insiders' Guide to Kansas City, 4th

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Insiders' Guide to Kansas City, 2nd

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Insiders' Guide to Kansas City

Next door is Oceans of Fun, a sixty-acre wet and wild adventure that includes a million- ... The Great Mall of the Great Plains Olathe, KS (913)393-3535 ...

Moon Kansas City

aMuseMeNT PaRKs M oceans oF FUn 4545 Worlds of fun Dr., 816/454-4545, www. worldsoffun.com hoUrs: vary cost: $28.99 adult, $15.99 child/senior 5 With 60 ...

Visitor Attractions in Kansas City, Missouri, Kansas City Zoological Park, Worlds of Fun, Oceans of Fun, Harrah's North Kansas City