Humorous Church Sign Sayings

Melissa Gerrish: Church signs are clear 'sign' of God's humor

There is proof that God has a sense of humor. Just check out some of the sayings on church signs. The sayings can be full of inspiration and wit. I tend to like the more humorous sayings.

I have encountered all sorts of church folks over the years. Some would crack a smile; others would not. I’ve never thought of church as a place where laughter was not allowed.

Here are some of the church sign sayings that have often made me laugh out loud:

• Two things you can count on: Death and taxes. Are you ready for both?

• Church parking only. Violators will be baptized.

• Can’t sleep? Come hear a sermon.

• Church. Cheaper than NFL tickets.

• Eternity: Smoking or non-smoking?

• Forgive your enemies. It will mess with their minds.

• Get off Facebook and get into my book.

• Get rich quick. Count your blessings.

• God answers knee-mail.

• God doesn’t have a Plan B.

• God is like Allstate, you’re in good hands.

• Google doesn’t have all the answers.

• If God is your co-pilot, you better switch seats.

• The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.

• Sign broken. Come inside for messages.

• Try our Sundays. They are better than Dairy Queen’s.

• The Ten Commandments are not multiple choice.

• Wal-Mart is not the only saving place.

• A gloomy person brightens a room by leaving it.

• Faithbook: God has sent you a friend request.

I’ve always wondered how churches come up with the sayings on their signs. Are you the person in charge of that ministry at your church? If so, I’d love to hear from you. Contact me at the information below.

Other sayings that seem appropriate for the current season include:

• Summer vacation? Don’t forget to invite God to go.

• The closer you are to the Son, the less likely you are to get burned.

• Our church is prayer conditioned.

Who says Christians can’t have fun? Some of my most favorite people to hang out with are my church friends from a former church in Huntsville. The group ranges in ages from 30 up to the mid-80s. There is never a dull moment when we are together. We share precious memories, and for that, I always look forward to our next time together.

Going to church doesn’t include all pomp and circumstance. It includes laughter, too. So, lighten up and enjoy a good laugh or two.

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